everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
