Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
