you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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