The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
