Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
