worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When are your genitals available?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize