Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
