You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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