No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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