id be glad to
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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