I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
