if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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