tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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