I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
