Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
