Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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