Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
