I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
