I'm drive I can fine osifer
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
