so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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