This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
