my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
