worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize