btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm too high and old for this...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
