Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
