I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize