Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
