Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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