so that wasnt chicken after all
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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