Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my shit smells like andre
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
