Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
