I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
