jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
