He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's rum buckets o'clock
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
