i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
