The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize