Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
