i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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