she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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