She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
