Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize