last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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