I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You're like the curious george of whores
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
