What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I don't deserve a penis
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
