I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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