I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
