Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
