You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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