It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
