Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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