Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
