Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
