I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
