A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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