i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
