Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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