I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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