why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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