You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
